Section 4 – Building Your Support System

Being a carer is intensive, and it’s not sustainable to do everything alone. Setting up a support system for yourself helps prevent burnout and gives your loved one the best care you can offer. Think in three pillars: Emotional, Practical, and Informational. The steps below help you build each pillar steadily.

Step 1: Emotional Support – Vent Buddy & Check-in Friend

Having a safe space for your feelings is foundational. When you can offload the weight you’re carrying, you’re better equipped to support your loved one.

Vent Buddy – someone you can talk to without judgment.
Check-in Friend – someone who agrees to message you once a week.

It helps to set a gentle reminder in both your calendars so these check-ins don’t slip. Think of one or two people you’d trust in these roles. If you feel ready, send them a quick message.

I know who my vent buddy and check-in friend could be.

Step 2: Practical Support – Small Tasks Without Guilt

You’ll have plenty on your plate. Focusing on the important things means letting others take on some of the lighter tasks. Start by identifying 1–3 small, specific tasks someone could do: (e.g., cook a meal, do the school run, pick up groceries).

List a few specific tasks others could help with:

Use the 3-Step Ask:

Be specific: “Could you cook a meal for us next Thursday?”
Be time-bound: “Just this once / once a month.”
Show why it helps: “It frees me up to focus on the appointment.”

Try shaping one ask below:

I now know how to shape a small ask.

Step 3: Informational Support – Your Health Ally

Sometimes medical information feels overwhelming. Having someone in your circle with health knowledge (a pharmacist, nurse, or GP friend) can boost your confidence before talking to doctors.

Who might you know with health knowledge?

Don’t worry if nobody comes to mind right now; this can grow over time.

If you’d like, prepare a message here:

I know how to reach out to a health ally (and maybe who).

Step 4: Emotional & Informational – People Who “Get It”

Other carers often understand you in ways others can’t. Shared experience reduces isolation and brings practical wisdom. Do you know someone who has been a carer? Note their name, or explore:

Even one conversation, coffee, or online chat can help.

I’ve connected with, or identified, someone who “gets it”.

Step 5: Practical Support – Shared Systems

Juggling communication can be confusing. Simple systems make it easier:

Create a group chat for quick updates.
Add one recurring task (like weekly shopping) to a shared calendar.
Rotate tasks monthly so no one feels overburdened.

Start small: even adding one or two people to a chat or calendar makes a difference.

I’ve set up, or feel confident setting up, a shared system.

Step 6: Developing Your Support System Over Time

Your support system won’t be perfect right away. Use your weekly review (from Section 2) to spot gaps and build deliberately.

“When did I feel most alone this week?”
“What drained me that could have been shared?”

If you find a gap, decide which pillar it belongs to (Emotional, Practical, Informational), then return to the matching step to build it.

Capture one gap and where it belongs:

I know how to reflect on gaps and build my support system gradually.

You now have the foundations of a comprehensive support system—people to lean on emotionally, practically, and informationally. This isn’t built in a day; it grows with you. By taking small steps, you’re already making caring easier on you and your loved one.

Take me to Section 5